(A Guide to Becoming an Adoptive Parent)
Content
Introduction
Criteria Requirements
to
Become an Adoptive
Parent
Questions to Ask
Yourself
When Considering
Adopting
a Baby
Preparing an Adoption
Plan
What Kind of Adoption
Choosing the Right
Adoption
Professional
Costs Related to
Adopting a
Baby
Home Study Procedure
Conclusion
Introduction
The laws and policies which
regulate who are
actually able to adopt a child
will vary from state
to state, as well as from agency
to agency. But
there are certain requirements
that almost all
adoption agencies will be looking
at when they talk
to those people who would like to
adopt a baby.
What is important to know,
however, is that,
although the provisions required
by laws in each
state can not be either changed or
ignored. But
there are very few, if any,
requirements or rules
which are not inflexible.
However, if you do find yourself
during the
adoption process having problems
with a particular
rule or guideline, then it might
be advisable if
you can see if that particular one
can be waived.
You may be surprised that there
are certain
exceptions where this can occur,
if the
circumstances are right, or the
right people have
asked for it to be waived.
Although you may think that you
have the right to
adopt, this is simply just not the
case. No one in
today’s society has the absolute
right to adopt a
child, and can only do so after
they have met
certain criteria that both the
adoption agencies
and the government place.
It is therefore important that any
prospective
people wishing to adopt a baby
should carry out as
much research as possible on the subject.
Learn
everything about the rules,
regulations and
guidelines that can be imposed
upon prospective
adoptive parents by the various adoption agencies.
we will be taking you through the
basics of what is required in order
for a couple or
single person to become an
adoptive parent.
Criteria Requirements toBecome an Adoptive Parent
In this chapter, we will take a
closer look at the
criteria a couple, or a person,
will need to meet
in order to become the parent(s)
of an adopted
baby.
Mandatory Legal Requirements
These are requirements in regard
to legal and
procedural matters which have been
imposed by the
State and County where the actual
adoption will be
taking place. Normally, it is the
requirements of
the state and county where the
parents reside,
rather than where the baby was
born. But be aware
that there are some states whose
courts will allow
a baby’s adoption to be processed
in them even if
the parents are not residents in
that state.
Unfortunately, you will find that
it is very
difficult to get any of these
requirements either
modified or waived by the state
where they have
been put in place.
Preferred Agency Requirements
These are the requirements which
are imposed by
each adoption agency around the
country. Their
requirements are ones which are
above and beyond
those that have been imposed by the state laws
governing adoption matters. Such
requirements will
vary from agency to agency, and
will be based on
what the agency actually focuses
on. Also, the
requirements that these agencies
have in place will
depend on the type of adoptions
that they handle,
and what economic and human
resources they have
available to them. Plus, the
requirements that
these agencies have in place will
depend upon the
businesses social philosophy, and
whether they have
commercial, non profit or public
businesses
providing them with support.
What should be noted by any person
wishing to adopt
a child is that these agencies are
allowed to set
their own individual sets of
criteria which must
work within the framework of their
charter. Plus,
they also have the right, if they
so wish, to make
changes to, or waive certain
criteria that they
have in place if the circumstances
call for it.
One criterion you may find that a
lot of adoption
agencies have in place is that
they will not allow
people over the age of 40 to
adopt. Often there are
valid reasons as to why an agency
has placed
certain restrictions on people who
are wishing to
adopt a baby. Therefore, any
would-be adoptive
parent(s) will need to spend some
time looking for
an agency which has a set of
requirements that they
feel comfortable with.
Birthparents Requirements
These requirements are especially
important when
the adoption is an independent or
“open” one. We
will be taking a closer look at
the various kinds
of adoptions that take place a
little later in this
book.
Today more than ever, birthparents
are actually
playing a role in which families are
chosen to
adopt their child. What this then
means is that
they can actually impose certain
criteria on the
agency to ensure that the right
adoptive parents
have been chosen, in order to meet
their
requirements.
However, it does provide those
with the chance, if
they want to, of walking away from
any potential
adoption if they do feel that they
are unable to
meet the requirements that have
been imposed upon
them by the birthparents.
Certainly no parent can
be forced to place a child up for
adoption if they
do not find the terms being
provided as being
acceptable. However, the
requirements of the
birthparents of a child who is
being adopted
through a public agency are often
absent from such
proceedings. This is because in
most cases, the
rights of the child’s birthparents
have already
been terminated by a court legally
when the child
comes up for adoption.
Adoptive Parents Limitations
At some stage, all people wishing
to adopt a baby
or child will have certain limits
when it comes to
adopting, that they will not
cross. All of these
they have imposed upon themselves,
and will take
into consideration such factors
as:-
1. Financial Issues
2. Their age
3. Their health
In addition, a number of other
criteria and
limitations that they consider
important to ensure
that, when adopting a baby or
child, they provide
it with the best life possible.
Often, the
additional limitations and
requirements they place
upon themselves will be dependent
on just how
comfortable they are with regards to the adoption.
Often those parents who do not
feel good about a
certain situation, or the
requirements that they
need to meet, will often not move
forward with an
adoption.
Questions to Ask Yourself
When Considering Adopting a
Baby
If you are a couple who is
starting out for the
first time in adopting a baby,
then congratulations
are in order! However, it is
important that you
learn as much as possible about
what adoption is.
You also need to understand the
commitment that you
will be making, and that it is
going to be for the
rest of your life. Plus, it is
important that you
learn everything there is to know
about the legal
processes all would-be adoptive
parents have to go
through in order to adopt a baby.
Today, there are newborns, as well
as teenagers who
are looking to be adopted, often
because their
birthparents (biological parents)
are unable to
raise them on their own. Or it may
be that these
children need to be in homes where
there will be
loved and needed, and that time
can be committed to
providing them with a stable and
permanent family
environment.
Each year, hundreds of thousands
of people across
the globe have chosen to adopt a
child for a number
of different reasons.
1. It may be because they have
wanted to adopt
a child for longer than they could remember.
2. They have decided to adopt a
child, as they
are unable to have a child of
their own.
3. It may be because they have
family
connections, which provides them
with the
opportunity to adopt a child.
Often, this
happens in the cases where a
couple has
remarried, and has children from a
previous
marriage, and they wish them to
take on the
identity of the new family.
However, when you are considering
adopting a baby,
there are certain questions that a
would-be
adoptive parent should be asking
themselves. By
asking these, they will then find
out if they are
willing, and are prepared to face
the challenges
and the joys of becoming a parent
to another
person’s baby or child.
The questions any would-be
adoptive parent(s)
should be asking themselves are as
follows:-
1. Just how do they feel about not
being
related genetically to the child?
2. When the subject comes up, how
do they feel
they will be able to discuss the
matter of the
child’s adoption at a later date?
3. How can they help the child to
understand
why they were placed up for
adoption,
especially if there is little
information
available about them, or they were
abandoned,
or their life before being adopted
was very
difficult?
4. As an
to allow
identity
and what
adoptive
parent, will you be willing
the
child to maintain their own
in
relation to where they come from,
kind
of cultural background they have?
5. As an adoptive parent, will you
be willing
to deal with all issues relating
to the baby’s
birthparents?
As well as the questions you
should be asking
yourself above, there are other
questions that need
to be asked in relation to
trans-racial adoption,
international adoption and if you
are going to be a
lone parent adopting a baby.
Once you have been able to answer
these questions,
you can now move on to the next
stage, which is
preparing a plan that will help
you to manage the
various stages of the adoption process.
Preparing an Adoption Plan
Certainly one of the most
important steps any
adoptive parent will take is to
establish an
adoption plan. It is this plan
which will help to
ensure that the adoption process
is a much more
pleasant experience for both them,
and the baby
that they wish to adopt. It is
this plan which will
guide them through the processes
of contacting the
adoption agencies and
professionals, as well as
finding out details of the child,
and any other
person that you are likely to come
into contact
with during the adoption process.
It is a well known principle that
people are likely
to fail if they do not plan things
correctly.
Therefore, if you really want to
succeed at
becoming an adoptive parent, you
need to set
yourself goals and make a plan in
order that these
can then be achieved.
When putting a plan together,
there are certain
things which you will need to take
into
consideration. Remember, when it
comes to adopting
a baby, this is not just a process
that, once the
baby is at home with you is
completed, but rather
is a set of processes that you
will have to be
dealing with until the child has
grown up and left
home.
Remember that when it comes to
adopting a baby,
this will end up changing your
life forever, and
certainly for those parents who are unable to have
children of their own, will add a
whole new
dimension to the way their view
their lives in the
future.
It is important that any would-be
adoptive parent
should not limit just what kind of
child they
should be adopting. For many
parents who are
looking to adopt a child, it is
important that they
resist the urges to only consider
a small group of
children that they would be
willing to adopt. You
may well discover that you can be
more fulfilled if
you actually adopt a child who you
would not
otherwise have considered as being
suitable.
Also, there is no reason why you
should not take
into consideration adopting more
than one child.
Unfortunately, a lot of parents
will not consider
the fact that they actually have
the right to adopt
more than one child, or they just
do not include
this option with any plans that
they may have in
place.
When it comes to preparing your
plan, there are
certain things you will need to
include within it.
1. What kind of adoption it is you
wish to do?
2. Selecting the right adoption
professional or
agency
3. The costs of adopting a baby.
4. Going through the home study
process
5. How to find a child
In the next few chapters, we will
be looking at the
above stages of setting up a plan
in more detail to
help you with learning about how to adopt a baby.
What Kind of Adoption
Today, there are many different
ways in which
people are able to adopt a child.
However, the
first thing any prospective
adoptive parents should
be doing is to explore their own
capabilities, as
well as learning more about what
the adoptive baby
or child will need.
In this chapter, we will now be
taking a closer
look at the various adoption
options a couple, or a
single person, will have when it
comes to adopting
a baby or child.
Domestic Adoption
These adoptions are ones which are
arranged through
licensed agencies, attorneys,
adoption
professionals or even a doctor.
When choosing this
type of adoption, a couple, or
single person, is
able to choose a child whom they
feel will be
suitable, and will fit into their
family situation.
With this type of adoption, it is
normally the
parents of the child who is up for
adoption that
will choose the type of family
that they wish their
child to be adopted by.
With this kind of adoption, the
parents of the
child, as well as those who are
adopting them, will
be making decisions together about
the future of
the child. They will discuss just
what kind of
contact the child will have with
its biological
parents in the future, if any.
Inter Country (International)
Adoption
This is where the parents of the
child to be
adopted resides and are citizens
in one country,
and the people wishing to adopt
reside, and are
citizens in another.
Because the governments of both
these countries
will actually be involved in the
adoption process,
then it is advisable for the
parent to take a look
at the requirements that their
country requires in
relation to international
adoptions. For the USA, a
would-be adoptive parent who
wishes to consider
this kind of adoption option
should visit the State
Department’s website. Through
this, they will learn
whether the country they wish to
adopt from is
legally allowed to take place in
the USA. In most
cases, a lot of children which are
adopted in this
way will often be found in either
privately, or
state run orphanages in the
country where they
reside.
It is important to remember that
in many cases,
babies and children which are
adopted using this
option will have been raised in a
different kind of
culture from their adoptive
parents. Therefore the
parents will need to learn
everything about the
culture they have been brought up
in, as well as
learning about their language and
the kinds of
foods that they eat. This will
then help to ensure
that the child is still provided
with their own
sense of identity in relation to
where they come
from originally.
Kinship or Relative Adoption
This is another type of adoption
which can take
place, and is the type where a
family will adopt a
child who has ties to their family,
or through a
relationship that a child has with
that family.
Such adoptions include those where
a stepmother or
stepfather has adopted their new
partner’s
children. Grandparents who have
adopted their
children’s children for some
reason (maybe the
parent’s were killed in an
accident or they feel
that the couple is unable to cope
with bringing up
the children themselves). It may
be a family friend
or even a teacher that adopts a
child if, for
example, they have found that the
child’s
biological parents are in fact
unable to care for
them.
With all these kinds of adoptions,
a licensed
professional is required in order
to ensure that
all the legal requirements
relating to an adoption
are met, and to ensure that it is
finalized using
the right procedures.
Domestic Adoption from State
Foster Care
The children who are adopted using
this option will
have spent some time in either
temporary foster
care, or another welfare
situation. In a lot of
cases, the agencies will often
want to arrange for
numerous siblings to be adopted
together, as well
as loan children. Unfortunately,
these kinds of
children will have often come from
a very difficult
background, and will not
understand about what
commitment is, and so they will
require more
attention and commitment than
others.
Parents who decide to adopt
children through this
method will find that they are
provided with access
to many Government benefits.
Including Medicaid,
subsidies for finding the right
kind of tutoring
for the child, and other
requirements to help the
child transfer into a more
permanent and loving
environment.
Along with the above adoption
options, there are a
number of others that need to be
taken into
consideration as well, and these
are as follows.
Open Adoption
This is where the birth parents
are able to specify
the kind of family which they feel
is the most
appropriate for the child to be
placed with. The
birth parents will be able to meet
with the family
that they have chosen, and be able
to identify
information which can then be shared
between both
sets of parents. With this type of
adoption, the
parents will constantly be in
contact over the
years, and so both sets will need
to ensure that
they are willing to make a life
long commitment to
the child that is being adopted.
Semi Open Adoption
With this kind of adoption
procedure, the birth
parents again have the right to
specify certain
characteristics or traits that
they want the
adoptive parents to have. Also the
birth parents
have the right, if they wish, to
meet with the
adoptive parents either before the
baby is born, or
after the placement has taken
place. Once the child
has been adopted, then the birth
parents have the
right to receive pictures or
letters from the
adoptive parents, but must be
passed through the
agency and not directly.
Close Adoption
This is certainly the more common
type of adoption
option that many would-be
prospective parents and
birth parents will choose to use.
But with this
particular one, the birth parents
will often have
little or no control over who
their child is placed
with when they are adopted.
Certainly with this
kind of adoption, the birth
parents will find that
they do not get provided with
information on how
their child is fairing, or where
they will be
residing once they have been adopted.
Plus, the
adoptive parents may find that
they are provided
with very little information with
regard to the
child’s social history before they
adopted them.
At the end of the day, the type of
the adoption a
prospective adoptive parent
chooses, will then
determine the kind of professional
that they will
be working with during the
adoption process. In the
next chapter, we will be looking
at the kinds of
professionals who get involved in adoptions.
Choosing the Right Adoption
Professional
When it comes to choosing the
right kind of person
or agency to help you with the
adoption process,
there are certainly things that a
would-be adoptive
parent should be looking for.
First, it is important that you
compile a list of
all those professionals who you
feel are able to
meet certain basic requirements
that you have.
This should be just what kind of
adoption it is you
are looking at, where they are
located and how much
they charge to help carry out the
procedures
involved in a couple wanting to
adopt a baby or
child.
Next, you will need to be asking
certain questions
of them in order to ensure that
they do not have
requirements which are likely to
invalidate your
chance of becoming an adoptive
parent.
1. Do they have certain
requirements that any
would-be adoptive parents need to
meet in
relation to their professional
status, their
marital status, their age(s),
along with
details regarding health issues
and what kind
of income they have coming in to the home?
2. Just how long does it take for
them to
arrange an adoption for the
prospective
parents?
3. What pre and post adoption
services do the
agency, or professional, provide
to both the
biological and adoptive parents?
4. Does this particular agency or
professional
provide the prospective adoptive
parents and
biological parents with a free
consultation?
5. For how long have they been in
business, and
how many adoptions have been
completed, and how
many have failed?
6. Just how long should a couple
expect to wait
before the baby they wish to adopt
becomes
available?
Once all these questions have been
answered by the
professional, you will then need
to arrange for
them to provide you with an
itemized list of all
fees and costs that they
anticipate you will need
to pay during the adoption
process. It is essential
that you have a clear
understanding of what is
included within their fees, and
what is not. You
may find that you will need to pay
additional fees
or expenses for the birth mother,
as these may not
be included within those that the
agency provide to
you.
Also, look at choosing an adoption
agency or
professional where their child’s
biological parents
have some involvement in their
child’s adoption.
Generally, the results that occur
using this method
are much better than those where
the biological
parents have no involvement whatsoever.
Also you need to discover what
information that
agency or professional who is
carrying out the
adoption has on the child’s
health, as well as
their medical history.
As well as the above, when it
comes to choosing the
right kind of adoption agency or
professional,
would-be adoptive parents should
ensure that they
are able to see a copy of the
contract that they
use for all adoptions. If no
contract is provided,
then it is best to walk away from
such an agency or
professional, as often they are
carrying out such
adoptions illegally, and this
could result in
problems for the adoptive parents
in the future.
Also, enquire of them whether they
have had any of
the adoptions they carried out previously
overturned, and the reasons why
this has occurred?
Any reputable adoption agency or
professional
should be willing to provide as
much information as
possible about themselves, as well
as about any
prospective child. You should also
look at asking
them if they have any facilities
in place where, if
you require counseling yourself,
you can readily
obtain it, and just what
qualifications they hold
in regards to placing children and
babies up for
adoption.
Finally, you should ask the agency
or professional
if there is anything else that
they feel is
important that you, as a
prospective adoptive
parent, should know about.
Any reputable adoption agency or
professional
should be willing and open about
all aspects of
their business.
Costs Related to Adopting a
Baby
The actual cost of adopting a baby
will vary from
agency to agency, and state to
state. For some, it
may cost a couple nothing, while
others it may cost
up to $40,000.
The factors which are going to
affect just how much
the adoption will cost include the
following:-
1. The type of adoption
2. The type of agency or
professional used to
facilitate the adoption.
3. The child’s age, and the
circumstances from
which they have been brought up
in.
Therefore it is essential that all
prospective
adoptive parents check out each
agency or
professional that they are
considering using to
help with the adoption. By doing
this, they will be
able to find out more about the
specific costs in
relation to their particular
situation and
circumstances.
Below, we provide a list of the
range of costs a
parent can expect to pay in
relation to the
different kinds of adoption
options available to
them.
1. Foster Care - $0 to $2,500
2. Licensed Private Adoption
Agencies - $5,000
to more than $40,000
3. Independent - $8,000 to more
than $40,000
4. Facilitated or Unlicensed -
$5,000 to over
$40,000
5. Inter Country (International) -
$7,000 to
$30,000
Although these figures may seem a
little daunting
at first, it is important that, as
a prospective
adoptive parent, you should
explore all the
adoption options and the costs
associated with
them. In fact in some cases, you
may well discover
the maximum figure provided above
can be a lot
less. Also, you may find that
there are certain
resources that you can avail
yourself of which can
help to offset the costs that you
are facing during
the adoption procedure.
Also you should break the costs
(in total) down
into different categories in order
that you are
able to understand what exactly is
involved in the
procedure, and will help you to
determine the range
of costs that you are likely to be
faced with.
Plus, being able to understand the
different types
of costs involved with the
different adoption
options will then help you decide
which option is
best for you.
The types of expenses that any
prospective adoptive
parent is going to be facing in
the future, when
adopting a baby, include the following:-
1. Universal Expenses
These are fees that all adoptive
parents are going
to have pay, and will include both
home study
expenses, as well as court costs.
However, there
are some cases where these may be
offset and be
reimbursed at a later date.
2. Legal Fees
Whether it is a domestic or
inter-country
(international) adoption, it will
need to be
finalized in a court of law in any
state in the
USA. However, you may find that
with some of the
inter-county adoptions, these can
also be finalized
in a court where the child
originally comes from.
However, in such cases, these then
do not need to
be finalized in a USA court of
law, but many
parents often opt to do this in
order to provide
them with additional protection
for the future.
Generally, the costs for the
legalization of the
adoption in court will cost
between $500 and
$2,000. But you will then need to
include fees for
your legal representation during
the court hearing,
and these can range from $2,500 to
$12,000 or even
more, depending on which state the
adoption is
being carried out in.
However, you may find that in some
places, the
adoption can be finalized without
the adoptive
parents needing legal
representation.
3. Adoption Specific Expenses
These will be fees that the
prospective adoptive
parents will need to pay on top of
the universal
expenses that have been described
above. This
includes the costs for the various
different
adoption options would-be adoptive
parents can
choose from.
However, there may be resources
available to you as
an adoptive parent, which can help
to provide you
with additional funds to meet
these costs.
You may discover that you are
entitled to one, or
some, or even all of the following
to help with the
costs involved in adopting a baby.
1. Tax credits
2. Subsidies
3. Employer Benefits
4. Loans or Grants
So it is important that you carry
out as much
research before hand when making
the decision to
adopt a baby so that you know just
what it is going
to cost you, and what ways, if
any, that these
costs can be alleviated.
But what is also important to
remember is that, not
only will you be incurring costs
during the
adoption process, but you will be
faced with costs
that you will need to pay once the
child has been
adopted and becomes a member of
your family. Prior
to deciding to adopt a child, you
need to take into
consideration the actual cost of
brining up a child
from the day that they take up
residence in your
home, to the day they leave, or
when they actually
start to earn money for themselves.
Home Study Procedure
Once a couple, or person, has
applied to adopt a
baby, then they will need to
undergo a home study.
It is through this that the agency
or professional
will be able to evaluate and
determine the
following factors.
1. The person’s desire or
commitment to
adopting a baby.
2. They will explore just what are
their
reasons for wishing to adopt a
baby.
3. It provides them with a chance
to evaluate
you as a parent.
4. It helps them to educate the
prospective
adoptive parent, or parents, about
what
adopting a baby or child entails.
Although there is no set format
for the way in
which home studies are carried out
by adoption
agencies or professionals, they
do, however, need
to follow certain regulations that
have been set
out by the state. But as long as
they follow these
regulations, the agency or
professional is entitled
to set up their own specific
application package,
policies and procedures that they
use.
At the end of the home study
period, a written
report is then provided by a
social worker, who has
met with the prospective adoptive
parents on
several occasions. They will
arrange to meet each
of the prospective parents
individually, as well as
together. Plus, one of the
meetings that will take
place will be held at the
prospective adoptive
parents own home.
Generally, the whole home study
process will take
between 3 to 6 months in order to
complete, but
sometimes it may take longer or
less time,
depending upon the agency or
professional being
used. Plus, the time it also takes
to complete will
also depend on the actual state
where the
prospective parents are residing.
Generally, the information that is
required when
the home study procedure is put in
to place, once
the application has been made,
include the
following:-
1. Details relating to the couples
personal and
family backgrounds. They will want
to know
about the way in which the couple
was brought
up themselves, if they have any
brothers or
sisters, what major events that
are key to the
way they were brought up and what
they have
learned from these events.
2. They will want to know about
people who are
considered to be significant in
the adoptive
parent’s lives, and why they are
so
significant.
3. Everything about their marriage
and the
kinds of relationships they have
with their
family members.
4. What has motivated them to
become an
adoptive parent?
5. What expectations do they have
for the child
that they adopt as they grow up?
6. What feelings they have for the
baby that
they are going to be adopting?
7. They will want to learn about
the couple’s
parenting skills, and the ways in
which they
are going to be able to integrate
the adopted
child in to their family,
especially if they
already have other children.
8. What kind of family environment
the adopted
baby or child will be going into.
9. The agency or professional
will, through
home study, learn about the
applicant’s health.
This includes looking at their
history. Plus,
they will want to know about how
they will deal
with health issues of the adopted
baby;
including what insurance coverage
they will
have in place, and who will be
taking care of
the child when the parents are not
around, or
if they are both working.
10. They will also carry out full
background
checks on each of the adoptive
parents to be
sure that they have no criminal
records. Plus,
they will want to obtain
references from
friends, family and employers.
It is important, however, to note
that the home
study is there to help the
prospective parents to
become aware of their own
particular traits and
behaviors, and find ways in which
they can be
changed, or ways in which they can
live with them
once the baby becomes part of the family.
Conclusion
As you will soon discover, there
are many steps
involved in the adoption process
which are common
to the types of adoptions that are
available today.
But what is important to remember,
however, is that
the adoption laws will often
differ from state to
state, as well as from country to
country.
In order to find out just what
these are, you
should speak with a State Adoption
Specialist in
relation to where the adoption is
taking place.
While, when it comes to
international adoptions,
you will need to contact the US
State Department in
order to find out what the laws
and regulations
are.
Also, remember when it comes to
choosing an agency
or professional to help you adopt
a baby, it is
important that you talk to others
who have used
their services before. There are
plenty of places
online where you can chat with
other parents who
have adopted before, whether it is
in the USA, or
from another country.
But at the end of the day, it is
you who will know
just what you are capable of, and
what it is you
can offer to a baby which is being
placed up for
adoption.
However, there are certain
guidelines used by most
adoption agencies and
professionals, and which are
common to whatever type of
adoption option you
choose. Details of these can be
found on many sites
that offer advice and help in
relation to how to
adopt a baby.
But hopefully the information
contained within this
book will help to give any
prospective adoptive
parent a better understanding of
what is required
of them when it comes to adopting
a baby.
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